Jeepers Creepers: If You See A Body Being Thrown Down A Pipe Don’t Investigate It

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A brother, played by Justin Long, and sister, played by Gina Phillips, are terrorised by an otherworldly entity as they are driving home from university.

Before I get into this film I just want to address the director. Yes, I know that the director of this film is highly problematic for a number of reasons, if you don’t know them look them up, but I tried to push that out of my mind whilst watching this film and just enjoy it for what it was.

This film and its sequel have always had a special place in my heart, as I grew up watching them. Whether it was as a child or now these films have always managed to creep me out, there is just something about them. From the unnerving car chase to the misadventure down the drainage pipe and everything that comes after this film does a really good job in building tension and creating a terrifying atmosphere. It is nice to see a horror film that isn’t solely reliant on jump scares.

Moreover, as I have previously said in other posts the creature effects on the antagonist are incredibly good. The monster looks both demonic and alien as well as simply nightmare fuel. I also appreciated how this film never really went out of its way to explain the creature or what it is doing adding to the mystery and the tension.

My main gripe with the film really comes in the form of the dumb decisions the characters make. Yes, like in many other horror films the sibling duo here make all kinds of stupid mistakes over the course of the film, worse still the film even draws attention to them and makes fun of them for doing them saying things like how it would be a terrible decision if they were in a horror film. As I have said before calling out bad writing that is reliant on cliches doesn’t suddenly make it good, it just makes it fee lazy as you are admitting that you couldn’t be bothered to fix it.

Overall, this is an underrated horror gem.

Pros.

The creature

The tension

The atmosphere

The ending

Cons.

Dumb decision making   

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, the ability for you to pick what I review next and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Ebola Rex: Does What It Says On The Tin

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

This film will never win any awards, it will never be lauded, but it will entertain you for a little over an hour and provide you with some good, switch your brain off, trashy, fun.   

The characters are all paper thin, but again you aren’t really watching this film for nuance or for rich meaningful character arcs, you are watching it to see a T-Rex with a deadly disease destroy things and just generally be a pain. In that regard there is plenty of b movie esque destruction and carnage, enough to easily pad the film out.

The pacing of the film generally works. I found that the film was starting to run out of steam by the end, and had it been any longer it would almost certainly have suffered from pacing issues, but as it stands it feels well balanced.

I think how much you enjoy this film will come down to how much you enjoy B movie monster films.

Overall, fun but nothing to write home about.

Pros.

Mindless fun destruction

B movie charm

Well-paced

Cons.

Paper thin characters

The gimmick gets old fast.

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts, one on one Q and As, the ability for you to pick what I review next and full access to my Patreon exclusive game reviews. Check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Dawn Of The Beast: People Should Know By Now That Nothing Good Ever Happens In The Woods.

Written by Luke Barnes

Dawn Of The Beast is a horror film directed by Bruce Wemple. The plot sees a group of graduate students head out into the woods in search of Bigfoot, however, what they find is far more terrifying.

There is only one truly good horror film about Bigfoot and that is the Lost Coast Tapes, the rest of them are frequently terrible. I am pleased to say that though this film has issues, this falls into the category of good Bigfoot horror, and does provide a nice entry into the subgenre.

I think the creature design on both Bigfoot and the Wendigo is very well done, and though we only see brief amounts of them over the course of the film they do leave an impression and look suitably scary or perhaps monstrous.

In terms of scares, the film isn’t scary, it has a few tense sequences and attempts a few jump scares but to limited success.

The issues with this film are all structural and fundamental. The pacing in this film is way off and what is a relatively short film ends up feeling far longer to watch then it actually is- developing a bloat. Moreover, the acting from the human characters is incredibly weak: yes I understand that most wont be watching this to see how layered and well written the human characters are, rather instead to watch monster carnage, but it did impact on my viewing experience.

Overall, a good Bigfoot horror film that is brought down by several glaring issues.

Pros.

Using its monster well

The creature design

A few tense sequences

Cons.

The pacing

The acting

3.5/5

If you enjoyed this review, then please head over to my Patreon to support me, I offer personalized shoutouts and the ability for you to tell me what to review next. Check it out!

https://www.patreon.com/AnotherMillennialReviewer

Widows Point: The Type Of Film You Can Make At Home

Widows Point is a supernatural, mystery film directed by Gregory Lamberson. The plot sees an author (Craig Sheffer), become locked overnight in a haunted lighthouse as a promotional stunt for his new book. However, the longer he trapped inside the more he realises something isn’t right and soon he becomes the prey of supernatural forces.

This is a bizarre film. I am not simply referring to the end that literally comes out of nowhere, but rather the film as a whole. Midway through the film there were that many flashbacks and timelines going on I quickly became lost, there is something to be said for keeping you central narrative simplistic.
Moreover, the film as a whole looked very cheap. I don’t know quite what it was about it, yes it would have had a smaller budget but other films with small budgets don’t look like this, in many ways it looked incredibly amateurish; like the sort of thing you might see presented as a student film.

The acting is similarly as bad, and not for a single moment throughout are you convinced off what is supposedly happening on screen, acting or otherwise.

Overall, a very poor film that needed to be drastically reformed to be anything close to good.

Pros.

The wacky randomness of the monster just showing up at the end

Cons.

It makes no sense

The narrative is far too complicated and also doesn’t work

The acting is god awful

It looks cheap

1/5

Reviewed by Luke  

Black Water, Abyss: Rooting For The Crocodiles

Black Water, Abyss is an Australian thriller film directed by Andrew Traucki. The plot sees a group of adventure seekers/ divers become trapped in a uncharted underground cave filled with vicious crocodiles.

Why do I keep coming back to the shark attack, crocodile attack, creature feature sub-genre? There is nothing left of interest in this sub-genre at all. Sometimes these sort of films can be good for a bit of low engagement, mindless viewing, but I found that was too much of an ask for this film.

Though this film is on for under 2 hours it feels much, much longer. I don’t know how you can make man vs crocodile boring, but this film finds a way. Honestly by the midpoint of the film I was completely checked out and bored; if I was not reviewing the film I would have turned it off.

The characters are exactly what you would expect, if you have seen any film like this before. It is the same collection of cliches and stereotypes that leave absolutely no impression on you at all, even as they are eaten by the crocodile.

The kills themselves are fine, probably the highlight of the film, but even then they are just average.

Overall, give this one a hard pass unless you need something to both infuriate you and send you to sleep.

Pros.

The kills are okay

Cons.

The characters are generic

The kills have no real impact as you don’t care about the characters

It is not scary or thrilling

It is tedious and hard to get through

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

Critters: Never Trust 80’s Pop Icons, They Are Never Who They Claim To Be

Critters is a science fiction horror film Stephen Herek. The plot sees furry alien invaders from another planet arrive on Earth, in small town America of course, and start wreaking havoc. It is down to the efforts of one plucky family, a collection of towns people and two alien bounty hunters to stop them.

So the writers of this film claim that the ideas for it originated well before Gremlins, and that any claim that Critters is inspired by Gremlins are inherently false. While I can’t claim knowledge on the subject I have to say while watching I couldn’t help but be reminded of Gremlins as the two films are very similar in a number of ways.

I enjoyed that this film was not afraid to embrace the campiness of the science fiction horror premise with the Critters themselves being somewhat tongue in cheek often cracking wise. It reminded of many B movies I have seen; it is strange, and it knows it and displays it proudly.

The premise is generic, it is your standard alien invader/ or monster takes over a town narrative that is no stranger to creature features. However, the plot takes a back seat here to the fun absurdity of the film as a whole. It is a blast to watch.

Overall, if you want a campy B movie like good time then this will please you. Don’t go in expecting too much and you will be pleasantly surprised.

Pros.

It is fun

I enjoyed the tongue in cheek parts

I liked that it embraced its inner freak

Cons.

The plot is weak, and you have seen it before

The acting is very meh

3/5

Reviewed by Luke

Bigfoot, The Lost Coast Tapes: The Adventures Of Discount Tom Cruise

The Lost Coast Tapes is a Bigfoot centric found footage film directed by Corey Grant. The plot follows a group of people who go out into the wilderness to meet with a man who says he can prove the existence of Bigfoot. Once the group get their things start to go wrong, and the threat is all too real!

When I first put this on, I was expecting the worst, I was expecting a cheap, low rent, bargain basket esque film. However, I am pleased to say I actually enjoyed it a far bit and would recommend it. I love the focus on Bigfoot, and I think it added a nice bit of variety to the usual found footage dross. I liked the exploration of what a Bigfoot would be like and what it could do: alien or not.

Although, never before in all my time watching films have I ever met a lead character more unlikable than the lead in this, Sean Reynolds (Drew Rausch). I came to call the character discount Tom Cruise and I feel like if you watch the film you will see why. There is just something so obnoxious about him, I don’t know if that is how the character is suppose to be, or if the actor if just unbearable, but in nearly every scene he is the worst character in the room; taking the idea of a ‘dude bro’ to the extreme.

I thought the Alien or possible demonic suggestion at the end was a nice twist and left you with something to think about. I personally enjoyed the ambiguity and the fact that we never got a good look at what a Bigfoot looked like; it keeps the mystery alive.

Overall, I think this is a surprisingly good found footage movie cursed with one hell of an unlikable lead, but if you can get past him there is a decent film waiting for you.

Pros.

The handling of Bigfoot.

The ambiguity.

The ending.

It is very interesting.

Cons.

The lead is utterly hateable.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke

Tusk: I Am The Walrus

Tusk is a horror comedy film directed by Kevin Smith. The plot sees internet famous podcaster Wallace Bryton (Justin Long), go to Canada in search of a weird story for his podcast, there he meets Howard Howe (Michael Parks), a man who is obsessed with bring his dead best friend Mr Tusk (a walrus), back to life. What follows is an increasingly menacing situation as Howe tries to turn Bryton into a human walrus hybrid.

This film marks the start of Smith’s True North trilogy, (which as of the time of writing only has Yoga Hosers as the other film in the trilogy), however unlike Hosers, this film is tonally a mess. Yoga Hosers was a comedy from the get-go, it didn’t take itself seriously and was slightly serious at times. Tusk, however, has moments when it tries to be serious and dark and moments that are comedic and over the top, these two parts of the film don’t mesh together and feel at odds with one another. It seems to be as though Smith couldn’t make his mind up over how he wanted the tone of this film to be.

The performances in this film are a mixed bag, one the one hand you have Parks who plays the crazed walrus fanatic superbly; he is menacing and threatening whenever he is on screen. However, Long is not a convincing hero, his Wallace is deeply unlikable (before you even find out how bad he is towards his girlfriend), from the moment he opens his mouth he is irritating. As a result of this you end up wanting him to suffer and be turned into a walrus as it seems a fitting punishment.

Johnny Depp as disgraced detective Lapointe is easily the best thing about this film and much like in Hosers has all the best lines. He is the only character you will remember once the credits role.

Overall, this is a weak start to Smith’s trilogy as it is tonally inconsistent and Long is loathsome. However Parks and Depp make up for it. A very so-so film.

Pros.

Depp

Parks

It is an interesting idea.

Cons.

Tonally inconsistencies.

Long.

The end.

2.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

The ABC’s Of Death: Bring Back Moral Panics!

The ABCs Of Death is a 26-part horror anthology film with each segment being directed by a different person and being about a different letter of the alphabet.  The film features such popular directors as Adam Wingard and Ben Wheatley.

Before I get into the review in depth, I just want to say don’t watch this film! I understand the need in cinema, especially in the horror genre, to be shocking and boundary pushing, but this film is just cheap shock value, it has no class, no taste, it is just edgy for the sake of being edgy. An example of my point, in Ti West’s segment M Is For Miscarriage the whole point of the story is a women looking for a plunger to push her stillborn kid down the toilet, there is nothing more to it than that, it is handled poorly and with questionable taste; also that is one of the more tame examples from this anthology.

There are plenty of other segments that feature, rape, paedophilia, illusions to bestiality, dog fighting and many other horrible things, not one of them is handled with any taste, it is all shock for shock value. Surprisingly one of the ones I just mentioned the dog fighting one directed by Marcel Sarmiento, is probably the one with the most taste; that is not something I expected to be writing this morning.

I can break down the shorts into 4 categories, good or at least well done, these are the segments by Wingard, Wheatly, Adrian Garcia Bogliano, Lee Hardcastle and Banjong Pisanthanakun. The weird stuff this includes the furry segment, the farting segment and the final segment. The average/ boring stuff, this includes the surfing segment and the life cycle one and then the offensively bad/ done in poor taste, which includes most everything else. So as you can see it is truly a mixed bag, with very few well done segments.

Finally, unlike something like V/H/S where are all of the segments worked together, they were separate and individual, but they all had the same feel and tone, the tone in this film is wildly all over the place, you have really dark unpleasant segments, followed by light and fluffy stuff and it is jarring to say the least.

Overall, this has been one of the toughest films I have watched recently and not only do I not recommend it, I advise you to stay away from it, you could probably find more cultured nuanced horror on Youtube. A black mark on some of the biggest names in horror.

Pros.

There is about 5/26 good segments.

Cons.

Most of the segments are horrible.

It is incredibly hard to watch.

It is done in such poor taste I would call it offensive.

The tonal inconsistencies and also the lack of effort by some, looking at you Ti West.

1/5

Boar: Bloody Bacon

Boar is an Australian horror film directed by Chris Sun. The film follows a young family that goes on a trip into the Australian wilderness whilst there they are hunted down and terrorized by a giant wild boar with a taste for human flesh. The film features Australian legend John Jarrett, as one of the men who investigate the fence post destruction and discover the boar.

This is classified as a horror film, but it isn’t, it can’t be. This is a film where you have a man singing and dancing along to Vanilla Ice, and a film where the villain is a giant boar; that alone puts it in comedy horror territory. This film reminded me in a lot of ways of the New Zealand film Black Sheep, both tonally and because of their animal villains.

I enjoyed this film, it was a lot of dumb fun, the boar itself was ridiculously over the top and its kills were gory to the extreme. This film gets the gore just right it is not grotesque, but it does love to show off its bloody spectacle. The special effects on the boar itself are good, you do get a good look at it a number of times and it doesn’t look fake even when it has people hanging out of its mouth.

My one complaint about this film is that it wastes John Jarrett, his character gets killed off fairly early into the film and I kept saying to myself surely that wasn’t his end he must be coming back, but he never does, I understand that in a film like this the characters aren’t important and it is all about the monster, but it still felt like a missed opportunity.

Overall, this film manages to balance comedy and horror well, it makes you laugh when it is trying to be funny and it makes you wince and recoil when it is trying to be scary, a very entertaining film.

Pros.

The boar looks good.

The gore is impressive.

It is funny.

It is good dumb fun.

Cons.

The human characters are underdeveloped and wasted.

4/5

Reviewed by Luke