Planet Terror: Go-Go Gore

Summary

The survivors of a biochemical disaster must face off against zombie like creatures and the military.

So of the two Grindhouse films this is clearly the better. Whilst not perfect, this film is far more enjoyable, both in terms of having a style and a charm that I could easily get on board with as well as having characters that I actually cared about.

I am a big fan of Robert Rodriguez, I like most of his more adult orientated content, and this film proves why I feel that way. It has such a personality and soul and never stops trying to be interesting. I liked the tone the film set and how it managed to swing between irreverent and dramatic at the same time whilst still managing to also gets some rad kills in along the way.

I really do think that Rose McGowan is terrific here. Her lead is both one that you end up rooting for but also one that is full of twists and surprises and is a very interesting character that Rodriguez should consider going back to in his future work.

My main issues with the film is that some of the ideas and themes don’t age well, as well as the fact that zombies, and yes I know these aren’t zombies in the traditional sense, feel very overdone and just boring at times. Due to this I am more interested in the army villains within the film instead, but these do end up feeling underdeveloped at times.

Overall, the better half of Grindhouse but also not without its own issues.

3/5

Pros.

McGowan

The tone and the style

The gore

Cons.

It feels dated

The zombie threat seems overly familiar and played out

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The Pope’s Exorcist: Russell Crowe’s Italian Adventure On A Vespa

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Vatican’s best exorcist, played by Russell Crowe, has to travel to Spain to fight the forces of evil.

This one was strange. On the one hand it was a very competent possession film, nothing ground breaking but it delivered all of its scares as you would expect them and ticked most of the boxes of what people would want out of a possession film. However, on the other hand the film had a number of overtly comedic moments and little jokes which took me right out of the film. I am not saying there isn’t a place for levity within a scary horror film but I am saying that cracking a joke right as something spooky is happening takes the tension right out of the scene. What is worst the demonic voice they gave to the little boy who was possessed just sounds like a Cockney person who has smoked too much and is almost unintentionally funny coming out of him.

I think Crowe is a serviceable lead, however, I do think the films decision to have him speak partly in English and partly in Italian was confusing, as it would have made more sense to go one way or the other with it, as it stands it seems clashing.

Overall, a watchable possession film that doesn’t do anything new but delivers mostly in the way you would want it to.

3/5

Pros.

It is serviceable

It has a few good scares

Crowe anchors the film well

Cons.

It is unintentionally hilarious at times

It forces in awkward jokes that derail the tension

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Scream VI: A Triggering Opening Sequence

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The Woodsboro gang move to New York.

To get right into spoiler territory, I don’t know how I feel about no one, of importance, dying in this instalment. On the one hand I wouldn’t have wanted to see Gale, played by Courtney Cox, meet her end in a film without Sidney, played by Neve Campbell, but on the other the amount of stab wounds the cast take and survive beggars belief. You really have to suspend your disbelief with this one as in some scenes the characters are stabbed repeatedly and given injuries that would surely kill them, only to be fine enough for a kiss at the end of the film.

Adding to my issues with the film I don’t know if this instalment did enough to justify its existence. As I just don’t think having the family come to avenge the death of one of the killers from the previous film is enough of a reason to make a sequel, especially as it has been done by the franchise before. I did like however that they are continuing with the question of whether Sam, played by Melissa Barrera, will become a slasher just like her dad. I think that is a really interesting angle that I would like the next film to focus on.

In terms of performances the central cast were all fairly strong. I do think that Jenna Ortega is starting to upstage Barrera a little bit and may end up fronting the franchise a little ways down the line. Speaking off I did feel weird watching a Scream film without Neve Campbell, it didn’t feel right and I hope she comes back for the inevitable sequel.

Overall, an enjoyable sequel for the most part, but one that doesn’t completely justify its own existence.

4/5

Pros.

The meta commentary

The opening kill with Samara Weaving

Teasing out Sam as a future killer

It feels like the most violent

Cons.

The lack of deaths feels entirely unrealistic

It doesn’t justify its own existence

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Pillow Party Massacre: A Sublime Slasher Parody

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A group of teens reunite at a remote getaway a short while after their friend killed someone because of a prank that went wrong.

No this film won’t win any medals for originality but when viewed from a brain switched off place it is surprisingly entertaining. I must state before I get into it that I have an affinity towards the slasher genre and can watch the same thing over and over again within it, as such I am more forgiving.

What I liked about this film is that it bothered to set up a mystery and build the world. When the film does reveal the killer at the end it won’t be who you are expecting it to be as the film does quite a good job of misdirecting you. The more I think of this misdirection the more I wonder whether it was a direct homage or parody of the first Friday the 13^th, small spoilers there, if so bravo.

I also liked that this film had its female characters have personalities and have conversations rather than just strip off and be hacked up. When comparing this to the film from last month Kill Her Goats the two films do a similar thing yet the focus of KHG seems to just be getting the women out of their clothes for a shower scene rather than trying to set up a world or mystery as this film does.

Overall, to me this film felt like a warm mug of soup, familiar, comforting and at times a terrific parody.

3/5

Pros.

The characters and the world

The kills and the gore, even if the effects are bad

It feels like a knowing parody of other genre films in a good way

Cons.

It is overly familiar

The characters make dumb decisions

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Evil Dead Rise: Some Books Are Better Left Unread

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A new family find the Necronomicon.

This was a sore disappointment for me. I had been excited for this film for a while, it was certainly one of my most anticipated of April, if not the year, but after watching it I have to say it wasn’t very good. I want to state up front that I am a big fan of the original trilogy of Evil Dead Movies and Ash Vs The Evil Dead, but I wasn’t taken with the remake from a decade ago and this I found had a lot of the same mistakes.

I think the problems of this film fit broadly into four key areas. Firstly, there is way too much fan service and nods back to the previous films, if you are going to do another quasi reboot then you have to have it stand on its own, by having all the call backs it makes people compare it to the original trilogy of films, and that is not in the films favour. Secondly, the opening sequence by the lake is dumb and should have been cut out, it has no relevance on the main plot of the film and just serves to tie up an ending tease, the book ended approach to the storytelling but done in reverse really doesn’t work. Thirdly, the first act of the film is a mess and is awfully paced. The first act feels like it goes on forever introducing us to all of these characters, who we don’t care about, it takes way too long to get into the deadite action and by that point you have stopped caring. Fourthly and finally, a lot of the scares and horror aspects of the film no longer feel fresh, they might have done had this come out a few decades ago, but there wasn’t anything here that I hadn’t seen already done to death in other films.

All that said I will give the film props for being fun and a good time from the second act onwards. Once Alyssa Sutherland’s character turns into a deadite and things start to go off the wall and into a gory spectacle things get a lot better and become more entertaining. I still wouldn’t say the scares land in the way the film wants them to but the gory spectacle of the film is at least good for a laugh.

Overall, I would leave the series here, it feels very much out of steam, if they have to do another film they should bring back old man Ash, played by Bruce Campbell.

2.5/5

Pros.

The gore

Fun with the deadites

It is watchable

Cons.

The first act is horribly paced and way too long

There is too much fan service for something that is supposed to be its own thing

You don’t care about any of the characters

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Renfield: The Role Nicolas Cage Was Born To Play

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Renfield, played by Nicolas Hoult, must do battle with both his toxic boss Dracula, played by Nicolas Cage, as well as with local mobsters.

I liked this film for the goofy fun ride it was. I appreciated the focus on Renfield and Dracula’s relationship and the ins and outs of it. I thought framing the whole thing through this idea of unhealthy co-dependent relationships was both funny and also able to generate some real insights. I have never really thought of the Dracula Renfield relationship like that before but I suppose that I haven’t really thought about it at all.

Moreover, both Cage and Hoult are terrific, Cage is as hammy and as campy as you would want him to be, he is very much playing the Bela Lugosi Dracula and that comes across in the costume design as well. Whereas Hoult really turns Renfield into a multi-layered character that you end up caring about, being both sympathetic but also heroic in equal measures. I must say however, thought I like Awkwafina in other things I thought she was miscast here. I say this because she has terrible chemistry with Hoult which would be less noticeable if the film was trying to ship them off into a relationship for most of their screen time together. Moreover, her being the straight man to all the on screen silliness just doesn’t work, what we want is for her to be reacting more to the craziness as her reactions could then be a stand-in for the audience, but instead she just keeps being stoic.

Furthermore, I don’t know how I feel about the films action. It is a horror comedy film and not an action film, yet the film does feature a lot of Wick esque fight sequences which honestly get a little tried after a while. Worse yet with the whole cockroach power up mechanic the fights end up feeling like generic superhero battles and then become lost in that sea of generic special effects. However, I do like how gory the confrontations get that makes for some good gross out moments and gags.

Overall, fun and with a good message of being your own person, but Awkwafina is sorely miscast.

4/5

Pros.

Hoult

Cage

The gore

The message about relationships

Cons.

Awkwafina is miscast

The action becomes boring after a while

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Qorin: Is Your Teacher A Demonic Summoner?

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A boarding school is turned into a portal to hell when students begin performing black arts and summoning their demonic doppelgangers.

I have a lot of love for Indonesian horror cinema, and I think that in many ways Muslim focused horror films make for a nice break away from the same old Christian tinged horror films that play every week at the multiplex. As such, I went into this with high expectations expecting another May The Devil Take You, but boy was I wrong.

This film isn’t the worst possession film I have ever seen but it is also in no way good. I would say the biggest issues the film has is that despite is premise being just different enough that it feels a little bit fresh, the way the story plays out is anything but. You have seen this film many times before and know exactly where it is going. Indeed this film clings to tropes and worn out characters as though it is too afraid to show an ounce of originality.

Additionally, the low-fi scares of the film don’t prove effective at all. Now I am not saying that low budget films, which this clearly is, can’t be scary really the opposite is true, but they do have to make an effort to do more with less and to make every shot count. This becomes an issue here as a lot of the time the effects just aren’t good enough and don’t lead to a scary scene, again it comes back to the fact that it is the same old same old, their demonic doppelgangers are in no way different to how a character from a Blumhouse movie would be and that is boring.

Overall, there is so novelty to the idea and trace amounts of originality, but the film really shoots itself in the foot by sticking far too closely to tired characters, scares and storylines.

2/5

Pros.

Traces of originality

It is unintentionally hilarious at times

Cons.

It relies way too heavily on cliches

It is bored and predictable

The scares don’t work

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Living With Chucky: A Love Letter

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A documentary about the people who have brought the Child’s Play franchise to life over the years and what the films mean to them.

I thought this was a sweet film, especially in the later stages when the documentarian reveals herself and what her connection is to the franchise.

What I liked the most about this film is that you can tell it was a labour of love, and more than that you can tell how much the series means to all of the people being interviewed and as a fan of the series, I don’t understand why you would be watching if you weren’t, that spoke to and connected with me.

I liked the deeper insights the documentary gave into the behind the scenes production of the films and the fact it gave a voice to some of the lesser known people who have been involved with the series and allowed them to talk about their experiences as well. It was fascinating.

My one complaint and this is a very nit picky one if I do say so myself is that this film felt incomplete. Whilst I understand it was probably shot a few years ago and only being released now, it feels incredibly remiss to not talk about the Chucky tv series that is currently airing within it. All of the films get a mention but the series isn’t name checked once which feels like a noticeable admission at least on my part. I would like the thoroughness of having the documentary go through everything to do with the franchise but again I see that is hard when it is on-going perhaps they will do a follow up down the line.

Overall, a lovely documentary and if you are a fan of the franchise one that you simply must check out.

4/5

Pros.

The real sense of love

The look behind the scenes

It brings back a lot of happy nostalgic memories

The sweet connection of the documentarian to the franchise

Cons.

They don’t mention the show

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Kill Her Goats: Softcore Porn Posing As A Slasher Film

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A trio of girls spend almost all the run time posing nude in front of the mirror or taking showers and then at the very end a goat slasher guy shows up to kill them.

Though that summary is a slight hyperbole it is pretty much true. This film is soft core porn, which hey no judgement if that is what you want to watch it for, but in terms of it being a horror film it really isn’t one. For me I found this film to be an act in awkwardness and uncomfortability, I found it to be fairly tasteless and felt a little seedy after watching it all the way through.

The actual slasher segments, which makes up hardly any of the films runtime are fine they are perfectly serviceable and much of what you would expect. Some of the kills do feel a little fetishised, which again added to the ick factor for me, and what I mean by that is that the camera will zoom in on the woman’s boobs as she gets run through or something like that. This film it is pretty clear only has one focus.

The only thing I can give this film props for is that they named the town after the late great Wes Craven which I thought was a nice touch.

Overall, you’ll need a shower after watching it.

1/5

Pros.

The Wes Craven thing

Cons.

It is pervy

It fetishises the kills in an uncomfortable way

The story is largely nonexistent

It makes the slasher sub-genre look bad

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Children Of The Corn: Now With Added GMOs

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Children of the Corn is remade in the era of GMOs and climate activism.

This film was one of the worst I have watched in a long time. It makes me question if the writer knows anything about youth culture other than what they see on social media, I would guess not. The teen characters, which by the rules of the original story would likely have been killed but clearly they aren’t sticking to things, only exist to lecture their parents on their evils, even going so far as to put them on trial because they do something they don’t like, so far so bratty. Then the little kids are even worse, they are like oh we get a say in our own future then they follow it up by killing their parents again for not any real reason. It feels like the worst corners of twitter, the whiny types who have to have everything there way and who have to constantly campaign for different causes in order to have a soul/personality turned up to the max.

Couple this with the fact that this film in no way even tries to follow the original or books story and doesn’t even bother to kill off the adults into mid-way into the film, and you will start to see just how bad it is. Worse yet, unlike the original film with Linda Hamilton, wherein the He Would Walks is not shown but instead illuded to, much scarier, here we show him in all this CGI terribleness and honestly it removes any kind of fear factor out of the story and instead almost becomes comedic.

Overall, before watching this I had heard it was bad, but it was worse than I was expecting it to be.

1/5

Pros.

It is short

Cons.

The writer’s only interaction with young people is clearly those they see on Twitter

The social commentary is unneeded and not handled well

It is not scary

They ruin any kind of mystery or tension with the crop creature

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