The Pope’s Exorcist: Russell Crowe’s Italian Adventure On A Vespa

Summary

The Vatican’s best exorcist, played by Russell Crowe, has to travel to Spain to fight the forces of evil.

This one was strange. On the one hand it was a very competent possession film, nothing ground breaking but it delivered all of its scares as you would expect them and ticked most of the boxes of what people would want out of a possession film. However, on the other hand the film had a number of overtly comedic moments and little jokes which took me right out of the film. I am not saying there isn’t a place for levity within a scary horror film but I am saying that cracking a joke right as something spooky is happening takes the tension right out of the scene. What is worst the demonic voice they gave to the little boy who was possessed just sounds like a Cockney person who has smoked too much and is almost unintentionally funny coming out of him.

I think Crowe is a serviceable lead, however, I do think the films decision to have him speak partly in English and partly in Italian was confusing, as it would have made more sense to go one way or the other with it, as it stands it seems clashing.

Overall, a watchable possession film that doesn’t do anything new but delivers mostly in the way you would want it to.

3/5

Pros.

It is serviceable

It has a few good scares

Crowe anchors the film well

Cons.

It is unintentionally hilarious at times

It forces in awkward jokes that derail the tension

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Evil Dead Rise: Some Books Are Better Left Unread

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A new family find the Necronomicon.

This was a sore disappointment for me. I had been excited for this film for a while, it was certainly one of my most anticipated of April, if not the year, but after watching it I have to say it wasn’t very good. I want to state up front that I am a big fan of the original trilogy of Evil Dead Movies and Ash Vs The Evil Dead, but I wasn’t taken with the remake from a decade ago and this I found had a lot of the same mistakes.

I think the problems of this film fit broadly into four key areas. Firstly, there is way too much fan service and nods back to the previous films, if you are going to do another quasi reboot then you have to have it stand on its own, by having all the call backs it makes people compare it to the original trilogy of films, and that is not in the films favour. Secondly, the opening sequence by the lake is dumb and should have been cut out, it has no relevance on the main plot of the film and just serves to tie up an ending tease, the book ended approach to the storytelling but done in reverse really doesn’t work. Thirdly, the first act of the film is a mess and is awfully paced. The first act feels like it goes on forever introducing us to all of these characters, who we don’t care about, it takes way too long to get into the deadite action and by that point you have stopped caring. Fourthly and finally, a lot of the scares and horror aspects of the film no longer feel fresh, they might have done had this come out a few decades ago, but there wasn’t anything here that I hadn’t seen already done to death in other films.

All that said I will give the film props for being fun and a good time from the second act onwards. Once Alyssa Sutherland’s character turns into a deadite and things start to go off the wall and into a gory spectacle things get a lot better and become more entertaining. I still wouldn’t say the scares land in the way the film wants them to but the gory spectacle of the film is at least good for a laugh.

Overall, I would leave the series here, it feels very much out of steam, if they have to do another film they should bring back old man Ash, played by Bruce Campbell.

2.5/5

Pros.

The gore

Fun with the deadites

It is watchable

Cons.

The first act is horribly paced and way too long

There is too much fan service for something that is supposed to be its own thing

You don’t care about any of the characters

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Prey For The Devil: Watch Out For Old Men With Long Tongues

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A nun, played by Jacqueline Byers, sets out to become an exorcist.

Before I get into all the ways this film was lazy trash I just want to give it one thing and that is the fact that it does have a number of good effect scenes where we get quite creepy and disturbing things coming from the possessed little girl, played by Posy Taylor.

Okay, let’s crack on with all the ways in which this film highlights the very worst of the sub-genre. The worst sin of this film is its script which is paper thin, ridiculous to a laughable extent and so incredibly predictable that you might as well stay home and guess how this film will turn out, not only will you be right and save money, but you will also have to give up a lot less of your time. Around about the time the little girl turned out to be the main characters daughter, a moved which is sign posted almost from the get-go, is when I mentally checked out of this film.

There were also a number of moments wherein this film was supposed to be scary but that it actually went the other way and was funny. This can be best seen during the early part of the film where an old man attacks our lead and has a tongue that just flies about the room and then he starts dancing with her, this to me was in no way scary and was in fact actually hilarious is this film supposed to be a horror comedy?

One last thing to note is that the girl power message of this film of breaking the system and that women can do anything men can do feels like it belongs in the nineties, it is horribly trite and overdone and feels almost like the film is overcompensating for something else, but I will let you decide what that is.

Overall, an incredibly weak possession film, but shockingly not the worst I have seen.

Pros

Colin Salmon

It is watchable

Cons.

The script

It is laughable at times when it is trying to be scary

The girl power stuff is incredibly ham-fisted and awfully handled

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Invite The Devil To Come And Play: The Devil Went Down To A Concert Hall

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A man’s musical obsession throws him onto a demon’s radar.

This film was genuinely quite scary and did a number of times make me jump: no easy feat. I appreciated how this film felt different from a lot of other more mainstream films about demons and tried to bring its own spin to things. In doing this the film has stayed in my mind far longer than any other demon themed horror film in recent memory has.

I thought the lead performance by Carlton Wilson was thoroughly a tour de force. Not only did Wilson sell the shut out nature of a man obsessed but he also went on an emotional journey over the course of the film, completely sold by his facial acting ability. Never once did I think of his performance as an actor playing a role rather I just saw the character.

My one slight criticism would be that I thought the film was paced a little poorly with the beginning feeling quite slow and then the rest of it quite rushed. To be both too slow and too rushed is quite a problem to have.

Overall, almost perfect.

Pros.

It is scary

Great performances

You can’t look away

It stays with you

The ending

Cons.

The pace

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Dashcam: Triggering Libs And Running From Demons

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Annie Hardy, played by Annie Hardy, live streams her travels to England wherein she comes into some demonic trouble after pretending to be a food delivery driver.

I had been excited for this film for some time, then I read that some cinemas in the UK were banning screenings of this film as it was so offensive, naturally this made me want to see it more even though it proved to most likely just be a marketing tool, and now after seeing it I would say it mostly lived up to my expectations.

I don’t think this film is a homerun in the same way Host was, I think there is a lot to like for sure but it is not without its issues. My main issue with the film was the fact that the shaky cam got a bit too much at times with it going here there and everything to the point that it was hard to see what was going on. Moreover, the film is further made hard to follow by the fact that it never gives concreate answers to anything that is happening and you don’t know what is going on a lot of the time.

That said, I do think this film is scary and has a number of good scenes that stick with you after watching. The abandoned world of night time England made for a refreshing setting and also somewhat of a novelty.

Hardy’s lead is supposed to be unlikeable, I would assume, to give you mixed feelings as she comes into trouble. On the one hand you want to see the monsters get her but then again you also sympathise. I think there is some commentary trying to be communicated through that depiction within the film but it is not strong enough that I could tell you what it is.

Overall, a strong and refreshing horror film only held back by too much shaky cam and a lack of concreate answers.

Pros.

Strong scares

A novel and refreshing setting

The tension

The ending

Cons.

Too much shaky cam

It is never clear what is going on

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The Devil Rides Out: Christopher Lee Becomes A Magical Warrior Of The Lord

4.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A satanic secret society infiltrates British high society and Christopher Lee is all that stands between them and their dastardly ends.

Yes, yes I know this film has some racial undertones and is in many respect problematic, but it was from over fifty years ago so I am not hugely surprised. I have acknowledged these elements but for the purpose of my review I am going to try and look past them as little more than a product of their time.

Without further ado on with the review. Christopher Lee was a fantastic actor; he commands the screen here as Duc de Richleau. He brings such gravitas to the performance it is hard to look away, you really buy his performance consistently throughout.

Moreover, the film handles its stakes very well. Though only small in scale the film makes its stakes feel far grander and it is hard not to get caught up in this battle between good and evil. The tension coursing through the film is often palpable especially when it comes to scenes of mental sparing.

The film is beautiful to look at, even though a few of the scenes look quite poor by today’s standards, especially the car chase. However despite this there is longing towards this style of film making within me wherein whole films are not just massive dumps of CGI that underpaid visual effects people were forced to make during one long weekend wherein they couldn’t go home and were paid below minimum wage most likely.

Overall, there is a charm to this film that we don’t seem to see anymore.

Pros.

Lee

The stakes

The tension

The Angel Of Death scenes

The ending

Cons.

The rather blatant racism

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Paranormal Activity Next Of Kin: Break On Through To The Otherside

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young woman, played by Emily Bader, tries to find out more about her biological mother as such she travels to the Amish community she grew up in, bringing a film crew along for the ride because why not? However, once there things start to turn sinister.

Okay so this film won’t win any prizes for originality, but that is not to say that this film is bad quite the contrary. I will admit I soured on the Paranormal Activity franchise after the ending of Ghost Dimension all that build up and for what? Then the initial trailers for this didn’t look great, and I was worried that this film was going to taint the series reputation even further, but if anything it resurrects it.

This film isn’t quite sure whether it wants to be a sequel to the other films or a straight up reboot of the series, as such it goes in both directions there is no direct reference to the previous films either in terms of events or characters, however there is enough free space narratively that they could connect it up if they wanted to.

What I think is the best thing about this film is that it does the opposite of Ghost Dimension and actually delivers on the pay off of the film. The film ends with, spoilers here, a demon coming up to earth to begin a reign of terror, with seemingly no one able to stop it as it can jump from body to body. Not only did I think this was a terrific ending in terms of everything the film had been building to, but I also thought this was magnificent in what it sets up for the series, what’s next? The possibilities seem endless and that has me excited.

Overall, I would say this film is easily up there as one of the best of the franchise and you should check it out if you like all things spooky.

Pros.

The pay off

The set up for the future

A few good scares

Not being too lore heavy
Cons.

The characters are all fairly meh

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Insidious 3: The Least Scary Villain In A Horror Film Ever

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

After the death of her mother Quinn, played by Stefanie Scott, reaches out to the spirit world to try and contact her, and obviously because this is a horror movie, something other than her mum reaches back.

In my mind this is the worst of the Insidious films. This is mainly due to the demon antagonist of this one. Whoever designed it should be let go as there is nothing creepy about an old man with an oxygen tank, nor should there be. Furthermore, in terms of how easy it is to defeat this villain, simply by removing his oxygen mask, there is no threat at all there. In the first film The Man With Fire On His Face would be a lot worse of a villain if you could just turn off his music and that’s it he’s done.

The film tries to do something with ideas around mobility, Quinn is confined to a wheelchair for most of the film and so centres a lot of its scares around that. This isn’t a total failure as it does lead to a few good scares however, more needed to be done with it for it to be explored in any satisfactory way.

Another failure of the film comes with its characters who are instantly forgettable. We get the usual stock characters of the misunderstood teen, the boy she has a crush on, her parent, and then of course the paranormal investigators. None of the characters in this film are served by it, even veteran of the genre Lyn Shaye can’t save it, and they give her a much bigger role so she gets the chance to try.

Overall, a sad state of affairs but one that provides us with the crucial lesson of not all horror films need to be franchises.

Pros.

A few good scares

Cons.

The characters are awful

The villain is weak

They don’t develop their ideas enough

They waste the talent of Lyn Shaye

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Insidious: If Your Kid Starts To Astral Project It Is Time To Have A Serious Talk With Them

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young boy, played by Ty Simpkins, passes into a coma and whilst there some otherworldly demonic being tries to take over his body. His family and a team of paranormal investigators must step in and fight back.

I remember being absolutely terrified by this the first time I watched it, all those years ago. Though watching it now I find myself somewhat disappointed. Maybe it is because I have watched a lot more horror since and have seen the same scares here parroted back at me thousands of times over, maybe my taste has simply changed. That is not to say this film is bad rather that watching it now it feels overly familiar.

The idea of the Further, the demonic realm, is well realised and is used to great effect to set up a number of scary scenes. It is a shame the Further sequence only last for around ten minutes as it is the most creative and visually stunning of the whole film. Moreover, the titular evil demon looks terrifying, and is an obvious and well deserved addition to the halls of memorable horror monsters.

Lin Shayne is of course a horror icon and proves her status here. Though Shayne’s Elise is only in the film for a short while, she leaves a mark.

Overall, a solid horror film, but not as good as Wan’s later horror efforts, i.e. The Conjuring.

Pros.

The Man With Fire On His Face

The Further

Patrick Wilson

A few good scares

Cons.

A little bit familiar

We needed more time in The Further

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Paranormal Activity: Antagonizing Demons, Smart Move

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A young couple is plagued by strange goings on so decide to record everything that is happening for reasons.

I remember when I was young and I first watched this I was terrified. A friend had convinced me that it was all real and it really messed me up for a few nights after watching. Now years later I know it is not real but I still find this film scary. I know a lot of the people don’t like the franchise for what it would later become and the litany of clones it spawned, but I think this film plays with expectations and builds tensions in such a superb way.

As the film progress and Micah, Micah Sloat, becomes more and more annoying the tension really does amp up and you start to believe it and really empathises with the couple. Obviously the film uses jump scares in its horror but I think it does it better than later films not just in the series but in the genre as they enhance the atmosphere of fear rathe than acting as a standin.

The film has so much promise and so much mystery, sadly they would ruin that as the series progressed, but this film has a fantastic mythology to it.

My main complaint with this film would be that it has a very slow start, made worse by the use of shaky cam and the whole home video aspect.

Overall, an enjoyable film with a few issues.

Pros.

A strong mythology

A nice tense atmosphere

The ending

A few good scares

Cons.

Pacing issues

Micah is an awful character and is super toxic

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