American Horror Stories: Milkmaids


Written by Luke Barnes


A town in frontier era America descends into cannibalism.

In my previous review of last weeks episode of American Horror Stories I said that Drive was the worst episode of season two of the show but oh how wrong I was.

So most importantly this is in no way scary. What is scary is how long it goes on for. The various plot threads they have going on in this episode clash so badly together that by the end you are confused at to what you just watched.

The cannibalism feels incredibly forced in, as though they wanted to make an episode about the plight of women and LGBTQI+ characters in the early days of America and then were like ‘oh damn this is supposed to be a horror show, I guess we better put something scary in’, it feels like an afterthought.

Sadly they also bring in Seth Gabel to play the antagonist of the episode, Gabel was fantastic in the TV series Salem and all throughout the episode I couldn’t help but compare the two and it really wasn’t favourable for American Horror Stories. Gabel tries his best here but really isn’t given enough to work with.

Overall, it felt like I was watching some terrible low budget larping production organised by goth teens.


It is over quickly


Gabel is wasted

The cannibalism feels forced in

The ending

It isn’t remotely scary

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