The Feast: If You’re Bringing Up Long Strands Of Hair Seek Medical Attention

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

The film follows a Welsh dinner party in which everyone in attendance dies by the end of the film at the hands of a mysterious being.

Though the premise is nothing new there is something so unsettling about this film that makes it good. There is an off-kilter uncanniness that accompanies this film wherein nothing is quite like it seems and everything is filled with clues and hidden meanings, in many ways to truly get everything out of this film you should watch it several times over.

I enjoyed the rural folk horror and thought it did interesting things with a message of environmentalism and not disturbing the natural world. I found the film more uneasy than scary however, there is nothing from this film that stayed with me after watching.

The acting is all quite good. I think Annes Elwy was strong as the lead and played both sweet and sinister well. Most of the characters in this film balance out fairly standard greed and lust issues with far darker under the surface evils to great effect.

Overall, a strong folk horror film that is well worth a watch even if you have to read subtitles.

Pros.

Elwy

The folk horror

The uncanniness to it all

The twist

Cons.

Not particularly scary

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Knocking: Noisy Neighbors Are The Worst

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A mysterious knocking is investigated.

I don’t think this film will win any award for originality, I feel the premise is done to death and has been for a long time, however, some what paradoxically this film does manage to take it in a surprising direction and do something interesting with it.

The horror I thought was used well for the most part, there were a few moments that I felt were a little tame and could have been better, but for the most part the film succeeded in creating a frightening atmosphere that resulted in some strong scares.

The performances were serviceable for the most part. No one really blew me away nor did they do anything to particularly take me out of it, it was incredibly paint by numbers on that front.

I thought the ending, which I won’t spoil, was by far the highlight of the film as it actually managed to do something unexpected and took me by surprise, which is a rarity at this point.

Overall, a generic premise is elevated by a strong ending.

Pros.

The ending

The atmosphere

It is short and uses its time well

Cons.

The acting is middling

A couple of tame moments that need spicing up and that felt out of place

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The Mighty Ducks: Fighting For The Underdog

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Bigtime lawyer Gordon Bombay, played by Emilio Esteves, becomes the coach of a local hockey team as part of his community service.

Honestly this is another ‘classic’ film that didn’t do much of anything for me. I don’t know if it is because I am not really into the sport or what, but this film left me cold.

To me the biggest issue with this film was that Bombay doesn’t really change he starts off the film as a cold, arrogant, meanie and he ends it the same way. Yes, now he has started caring about the kids to a degree but in terms of his personality he remains much the same, this then means that the happy ending comes off hollow.

Moreover, the drama of the film felt all too predictable. That is not to say you don’t end up rooting for the kids and become attached to them as you do, however you know everything that is going to happen and when it is going to happen so there aren’t really any stakes. To me, this just felt like a very generic sports film, the kind we have all seen too many times before.

Overall, a classic to some but decidedly average to me.

Pros.

You do end up caring about the kids

The ending is sweet even if the character work makes it feel hollow

Cons.

Bombay does not change

It is generic

It is predictable

It has pacing issues

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The Change Up: Man Isn’t Having Kids A Hassle, Who Knew?

1/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A single guy, played by Ryan Reynolds, and a married guy with three kids, played by Jason Bateman, switch places because…… comedy.

The only word I can find to describe this film is lame. The comedy is lame, the plot is lame, the ending is lame. The whole film is just disappointing and weak. There might have been some comedy to the premise, I doubt it but maybe, however even if there was this film does nothing with and just pumps out deeply unfunny joke after deeply unfunny joke, with some cliches and stereotypes mixed in for good measure.

To some Reynold’s reached the apex of his career with Deadpool, others saw it as the beginning of his decline. However, this film shows how the former is more apt, this is a Reynolds firmly in his trash period where he is just trying to get noticed and hit it big. His charm is mostly wasted here and his character is just presented as the stereotypical guy who has a lot of sex but is actually deeper than that, yawn.

Bateman is like wisely by the numbers and this film feels very much like a pay check role for him.

Overall, films like this need to go away, comedy films deserve to be more than just the trotting out of stereotypes and the same lame jokes.

Pros.

Reynolds still has charm

Cons.

Reynolds is wasted

Bateman is by the numbers

The jokes don’t land

The over-reliance on stereotypes

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Hawkeye: Hide And Seek

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Hawkeye, played by Jeremy Renner, briefly teams up with Kate Bishop, played by Hailee Steinfeld in order to defeat The Track Suit Mafia and free themselves from the grip of New York’s Underworld.

This episode was better than the first, not hugely so, and certainly nowhere near the level of other Marvel shows but it was a small step in the right direction. Why? Well because things actually happened here and the series covered more than just the inner squabbles of Kate’s family. I would very much like the series to leave her family behind and focus on her and Hawkeye taking down the mob.

Thankfully for the most part they ignore the murder mystery aspect and focus more on Hawkeye’s efforts to stop the Track Suit Mafia and get the suit back, which leads to two entertaining scenes. The first being the larping scene as having such a self-serious character as Hawkeye pushed into this silly situation is just funny no matter how you slice it. The other is of course the final scene introducing us to Echo, played by Alaqua Cox, which is fun as it teases out further heroes in the MCU and expands out the coming Daredevil mythos.

I still truly believe the major thing holding this show back is the family melodrama. Whenever I see Vera Farmiga’s mother character or her finance come onto the screen I turn off as I don’t want to watch another family spat, it was tiresome to begin with, now it is just annoying.

Overall, slightly better but still a long, long way to go.

Pros.

Echo

The larp sequence

The wider universe teases

Cons.

Still too much family drama

The pace is still deathly slow

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Hawkeye: Never Meet Your Heroes

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Kate Bishop, played by Hailee Steinfeld, has her world turned upside down when she discovers and wears Hawkeye’s, played by Jeremy Renner, Ronin costume from Endgame causing her to become hunted by The Track Suit Mafia.

I think coming off the bat of the other Marvel Disney + shows this one felt disappointing. I appreciate the return to a more street level affairs but this episode is so deeply slow paced that it is almost a slog to get through. For the most part we are dealing with Kate’s family drama, which is neither interesting nor engaging: most of the scenes therefore drag on and on and you are left wishing for something interesting to happen.

The murder mystery angle doesn’t really come into effect until the end of the episode but it is mildly interesting at best, again from everything we have had before it feels very low stakes and honestly it would have been more interesting if Kate began investigating the criminal underworld of New York in order to find out more about The Track Suit Mafia and just left the mystery alone.

Vera Farmiga is in this series for some reason, she doesn’t do anything other than serve as a nagging mother figure for Kate, clearly the writers aren’t very good on this one, and Farmiga’s character is relegated to an annoyance whenever she does show up on screen.

Hawkeye is in this episode but he mostly doesn’t do anything either, he goes to an Avengers musical………. In my mind he only really appears for the last 5 minutes when he comes in to save Kate.

Overall, an incredibly slow start, with a weak mystery and annoying side characters. Of course it is watchable and Steinfeld is promising but the series as a whole really needs to improve.

Pros.

Steinfeld

The ending

It is watchable

Cons.

Vera Farmiga

The family drama

Terrible pacing

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Black Friday: Working In Retail Is Hell

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Retail workers on Black Friday must do battle against alien creatures that possess people and turn them into zombie like creatures.

When I saw the trailer for this film I had such high hopes and I was disappointed when I actually saw it.

This film boasts horror icons Devon Sawa and Bruce Campbell but even their horror pedigree can’t help this film, sadly all icons make bad decisions from time to time and this is certainly one of them. Neither Campbell nor Sawa is given anything particularly interesting to do and as such there characters each feel very one note. This becomes even more of an issue as the group of characters that become more of a central focus by the end of the film are both boring and irritating.

In terms of horror this is incredibly by the numbers. You have seen this film before, the premise is nothing new. Some people are praising this film by saying that it is very reflective of the retail experience however, I feel other horror films have done even that better before. There is certainly nothing scary about this film, the only thing scary about it is how long it goes on for.

It has strong pacing issues.

Overall, simply disappointing a waste of good talent.

Pros

It is watchable

A few good moments

Campbell has natural charm that even this film can’t hide

Cons.

It is not scary

It is generic

It has pacing issues

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Repeat: Don’t Talk To The Dead

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Ryan Moore, played by Tom England, devotes his life to creating a machine that can supposedly allow a person to contact the dead. However, during his obsession his daughter goes missing and he then tries to use his machine to find her on the other side and either save her from dying or bring her back.

I think this film has a strong hook. The premise feels fresh and I can’t remember seeing other films like it, moreover, the narrative doesn’t end up where you are expecting it to, there are some twists and turns and for the most part they are quite shocking and unexpected.

The marketing I had seen for this film made me think it was a horror film, however this is untrue. I would say this film is more of a bleak, Black Mirror esque, science fiction film. With that I found it to be at times quite bleak and upsetting, though I suppose that was the point. With the notion of be careful what you wish for being central to the narrative of the film.

I thought the performances across the board were fairly strong with both England and Charlotte Ritchie doing a lot with what they were given, and turning their characters into real people that you can empathise with.

Overall, a strong science fiction film that was a little too bleak for my taste.

Pros.

The acting

The plot

The twist

Cons.

Manically bleak

A few pacing issues

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Year One: Tameness Killed The Dinosaurs And This Films Box Office

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two slacker hunter-gathers, played by Jack Black and Michael Cera, are banished from their tribe and are forced to travel to the Biblical city of Sodom.

I have a fondness in my heart for this film as when I was younger I saw it several times at my local cinema, why? Well because nothing else was on and I liked going. Therein lies the problem. There is something of an acceptance to be average with this film, there are many ways it could improve itself but it doesn’t because it seems to want to try and please everyone whilst also being deeply average.

Black and Cera are fine they are trotting out more of the same shtick that we have seen from them time and time before, so your enjoyment of them here will be dependent on how you feel about their respective shticks. The comedy is mainly misses however there are one or two funny moments especially with the Biblical characters that make cameo appearances.

This is one of those films that I would not be surprised to hear the studio was heavily involved in. There is a tameness to the comedy and the film as a whole that feels very marketed research and corporate. On the whole this film feels very much like a bill paying exercise where no one really cared.

Overall, it is watchable for sure but not much else.

Pros.

I like the shtick of both Black and Cera

It is watchable

Cons.

It has pacing issues galore

It is too tame

It feel content being average

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Ghostbusters Afterlife: The Freakiest Third Act Surprise You Will Ever See

3.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A family move into an old farm house left behind by their deceased grandfather, shown to be Harold Ramis’ character from the previous films, there they learn a little bit about themselves and their family history and of course save the world from a ghostly invasion.

This film did everything correctly that the previous film, the reboot, botched. It merges the older films and a soft reboot perfectly; it is a legacy sequel done right. There is enough call backs and involvement of surviving cast members to touch on the nostalgia factor of fans of the original whilst also giving us a new generation of Ghostbusters to care about.

In many ways this is Mckenna Grace’s film, she is the central character and carries the film for a lot of the run time. However, Carrie Coon and Paul Rudd are also scene stealers and make the most out of the scenes they are given, hopefully a sequel will do more with them and give them more on screen time together.

I found this film to be quite funny at times, again particularly Grace’s lead. The older Ghostbusters have some good lines but I would say on the whole they are used sparingly as to not upstage the new characters. I am split on the CGI Harold Ramis, I do like that they give him a proper emotional send off and have each of the characters have a moment with him, however I don’t like the use of CGI to bring back dead actors as a concept, it is troubling.

Overall, a strong revival for the franchise.

Pros.

Grace

Coon

Rudd

Giving the older characters one last hurrah

Cons.

Pacing issues

Finn Wolfhard’s role could be played by anyone

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