iCarly: iPlan A Flawless Dinner Party

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Carly, Miranda Cosgrove, cooks a meal for her new beau and his Grandmother in order to impress them- rather unsurprisingly it goes awry.

This is the definition of average. A wham bam thank you mam no thrills kind of episode. Neither the A or B plots are very good and the whole thing leaves you just going meh.

The A storyline is predictable as hell and plays off the women in competition or hating each other for the sake of it, or worse yet being territorial over a man angle to an eye rolling extent. Clearly the writers of the show were not content with the sexism of last weeks episode and needed to continue it here as well. Moreover, I find it worth noting how much of a big deal the show makes out of the fact Carly can’t cook, not just in this episode where it is plot centric. Does the show care if the male characters can cook? No. However, it does like pointing and laughing at Carly for not being able to, is it because she dared to deviate from a gender stereotype? Maybe.

The B Storyline of Spencer’s, Jerry Trainor, relationship endings felt needed. By that I mean the storyline of his relationship had run its course by the previous episode and there didn’t seem to be anywhere else they could take it, so this was inevitable. It had its wholesome moments, but I am not too sad to see it go.

Overall, the lazy sexism and poor writing makes this one of the weaker episodes of the revival.

Pros.

It is watchable

Freddy, Nathan Kress, continues to be a shining light on a troubled sea of poorly written characters

Cons.

It is sexist

It is played out

It is deeply unfunny

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Demonic: The Fight Against Demons Has Evolved

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Carly, Carly Pope, has to meet her mum after years of cutting her out after she committed a series of murders. As she enters her mum’s mind, literally, she begins to see things were far darker and more supernatural than they first appeared. A battle for Carly’s soul soon follows.

For full disclosure here, I am a big fan of Neill Blomkamp so bare that in mind throughout this review.

After Chappie, which I have a soft spot for, but a lot of people didn’t like, Neill Blomkamp had a lot of bad luck. Both his Alien and Robocop projects were passed on and it wasn’t clear what was next for the director. However, then I saw the first trailer for this and knew he was back.

There is a lot of demonic possession films out there, I have seen, and reviewed for this blog tons and tons of them. After a point all of these films start to feel similar and you start looking for something new and different enough to bring you back to the genre again, this film did that. Whether it is the black ops army of priests hunting demons, or the new tech that allows said priests and others to venture into the mind of the possessed to fight demons in cyberspace, there are a lot of new ideas here and they mostly work.

Moreover, I enjoyed that the demon looked distinctly different from what we usually see in these type of films, which is either a human with glowing eyes or a red skinned horned entity. I thought the look of the demon with the bird head was distinct enough to be memorable and crucially scary.

In terms of scares this isn’t the scariest film in the world, but it did give me a few good scares throughout.

Overall, it is nice to see Blomkamp back in the game and bringing something new to the genre.

Pros.

The demon costume design

The new tech focus

The army of black ops exorcists

A few good scares

Cons.

It could do with being scarier

A few pacing issues

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What If: The World Lost Its Mightiest Heroes

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Someone is killing off Earth’s Mightiest Heroes, what would a world look like where the Avengers never formed?

The concept of this is far more interesting than the previous Star Lord episode, that is already a point in its favour as far as I am concerned.

I thought it was a little awkward how Black Widow centric this episode is considering what is going on with Scarlett Johansson and Disney in the real world, however she is not voiced by Johannsson here. I thought the mystery was actually quite well done and surprising, and much like the first episode this is a reality I would like to explore again in later seasons of the show.

The one thing I would say about this episode in a negative light is that it is the first time within the show were I have thought how limiting the ‘no new characters’ rule is. Can you imagine the finale of this episode whereby Nick Fury stands with a whole different team of Avengers to defeat Loki, maybe with some faces we have not even met yet, personally I think it would have been a hugely exciting moment.

That aside I think this is a fairly strong episode, I enjoyed the voice cast and thought everyone seemed to be having fun especially Lake Bell as Black Widow and Clark Gregg as Agent Coulson.

Overall, fun and with a dense premise rich for further exploration.

Pros.

The mystery

Bringing back scenes from The Incredible Hulk

The ending

Coulson and Black Widow

Cons.

They should have used the death of the Avengers as a spring board to introduce some new characters.

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Sweet Girl: Netflix Has Given Up Trying To Make Good Films

1.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A father daughter duo, played by Jason Mamoa and Isabela Merced, decide to take on big pharma after they raise the price of a lifesaving drug which leads to the death of the family matriarch.

All of Netflix’s action thrillers are the same. Bland confused and poorly written: it almost feels at this point like they are allowing a machine to write these films using a very basic formula for inspiration. Needless to say it is holding these films back.

I didn’t really feel any sort of emotional connection to the characters, though I did feel the film going out of its way to try and make me care. If anything I would say we don’t get enough time with the happy family unit to grow attached to it before it gets ripped apart.

As a thriller or ‘statement film’ this film has nothing new to say. The message of ‘geez isn’t big pharma bad’ has been one that is often spouted and less often used in an interesting and crucially fresh way. The whole conflict of the film feels played out before it has even begun.

Mamoa is playing the same character he always does, and Merced adds nothing and is simply along for the ride.

Overall, this is so by the numbers it becomes irritating.

Pros.

It is watchable

The opening is mildly interesting

Cons.

The acting isn’t very good

The story feels incredibly generic

It has nothing to say

It is boring

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Attack The Block: Aliens Should Have Thought Better Than To Attack Inner-City London

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Aliens land in a London council estate during Bonfire Night, a gang of youths are the only thing standing in their way to world domination.

Personally, I think this film is a little overrated. It is a mostly good film sure, but it is not a classic as some seem to view it as.

I dislike the way the characters in this film talk, the street slang sort of language is quickly overdone, and worse yet it perpetuates stereotypes about the youth of the working class; there will be plenty of people in the same situation that don’t talk like that and that aren’t in gangs. So presenting the majority of the tower block being criminal in some fashion feels a little off to me.

Moreover, the film lacks the charm of an Edgar Wright picture, if you will pardon the comparison. The characters feel hard to root for or care about because they don’t really do or say anything to make you like them. The only two that I felt any kind of positive feeling towards are Luke Treadway’s Brewis and Nick Frosts Ron, the latter of whom I only really like because Wright has conditioned me to always find him charming whenever he is on screen.

The thing I will give this film credit for is the scale and spectacle of it. For a modestly budgeted film they do a lot with the effects and the way they build tension. So much so that even though you only ever see the aliens for a moment here and there it feels like more, and enough is left to the imagination to make it interesting.

Overall, as a one off I think this film is a fine watch, it doesn’t need a sequel though, however.

Pros.

The scale and spectacle

Treadaway and Frost

The aliens

Cons.

None of the characters are particularly likeable

How it portrays working class youths

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Heels: Kayfabe

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Two wrestler brothers spar over the future of their father’s wrestling promotion.

I will open this review by saying when it comes to wrestling I am pretty clueless, I have watched parts of odd matches here and there but when it comes to understanding and appreciating the finer parts of the art and the craftsmanship I am not the one to call.

This was far more family drama driven then I was expecting, sure the premise of the show does imply that their will be some drama, but this show is packing Nashville levels of drama, which is to say a lot.

I thought in this first episode both Stephen Amell and Alexander Ludwig did a good job. Both were able to appear as the hero and as the villain at different points in the episode’s narrative, and you never quite decide which of the two brothers you want to root for. I thought the supporting cast was decidedly weaker, but it is only the first episode so maybe they will get better flushed out in the coming weeks.

I found the episode to be quite depressing especially the ending, I understand the moment is supposed to be a low point for the character and be dramatic, but it ended up really bumming me out for the rest of the afternoon.

Moreover, I struggled with the episode’s runtime and pacing, both need a lot of work in the coming weeks to make the series more digestible. Clocking in at just over an hour, this episode feels twice that, and I understand they have to get everything set up in the pilot episode but even still they should have paced it better.

Overall, I am interested in the Brothers’ struggles but I am not yet invested.

Pros.

Ludwig

Amell

The drama

Cons.

It is depressing

It is too long and poorly paced

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Stillwater: Intro To How To Ruin Character Drama

3/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

Bill Baker, Matt Damon, goes to inner city France to try and get his daughter, Abigail Breslin, released from prison after she is accused of a crime she did not commit.

So, I hated the twist ending, I hated what the film did to the Bill character- I thought it ruined the character for the sake of more drama.

Against the real life basis, which this film throws out the window, this film has Bill kidnap and torture the real murderer so that he can get his daughter off, only for it to turn out she was actually guilty all along simply she had hired someone to kill the person rather than do it herself.

The reason why I hate this was because up until that point I was enjoying the film. It was a personal drama about a man trying to reconnect with his daughter and finding his place in a new land. I thought all the scenes were Damon’s character got to be a family man were sweet and I really wish the film had not had him throw it all away in the end.

Honestly, the twist ending made me feel like my emotions had been played with by the filmmakers and not in a good way.

I think Breslin is never given enough screen time to make a big impact, though she does shine in her limited number of scenes. Damon is also on strong form here and has a lot of good strong emotional moments, sadly his turn towards action at the end of the film ruins it though.

Overall, what could have been a strong drama film is instead ruined by unnecessary action.

Pros.

The character drama

Damon

Breslin

Cons.

The twist

Everything about the ending

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The Wedding Guest: Nobody Needs That Many Cars

2.5/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

We see a mysterious man, Dev Patel, arrive at a wedding for an unknown aim. That aim turns out to be to kidnap the bride and to bring her to his benefactor.

I will applaud this film for giving Patel and action leading role, he really nails it. Patel is easily the best thing about this film and he actually plays a professional killer quite well, I don’t understand why up to the point of this film’s release he hadn’t been cast in more leading man action type roles before, certainly after this he has proven he should be cast more for that type of role.

With that aside my praise for this film runs out. That is not to say it is a bad film, it isn’t, but it is deeply generic. Honestly bar the setting this film has been done so many times before. There is nothing fresh about the story at all, instead it is all too familiar even having the kidnapper turn out to not be a villain and for him and the victim to end up getting together.

Every step of the way you know where this film is going, and it is about as surprising as seeing the sun rise every day. I do think with a better script this could have been really something, Patel is a good actor, but he is only as good as the material he is given to work with.

Overall, a generic action thriller that wastes Patel’s talents.

Pros

Patel

It is watchable

Cons

It is generic

It is incredibly obvious

It is far too familiar

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The Night House: Nothing Is After You

4/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A woman, Rebecca Hall, learns, posthumously, that her late husband had a secret life. However, the further she digs the closer the threat gets.

When I heard that this film was by the same director who did The Ritual I knew I was in for a good time. By Jove I was right, Bruckner is on fine form here.

I appreciate the horror in this film as it is not always straight forward, as the credits rolled I was still left asking a lot of questions and trying to piece things together. I much prefer that to a film that is very clear cut and worse yet one that goes out of its way to explain everything. I found the film to uses jump scares quite effectively to heighten the threat posed by the entity in the house. The film uses them sparingly but to great effect.

I also enjoyed the fact that we didn’t see the entity or presence but did interact with it a number of times throughout the film. Though I am not saying that films that show the monster or demon are inherently lesser, as some use the look of the creature to great effect, I am however, saying there is something to leave the monster to the imagination.

I found Hall’s character as a horror protagonist refreshing. She was troubled and clearly burdened but that was not her defining characteristic. She had sexual scenes but was not overly sexualised or visually lusted after. Perhaps most importantly of all she solved the mystery and faced the villain on her own, she did not call in for help, she did not need a family member or friend to come round, no she faced it on her own. Though it may be a cringey thing to say I think there is something empowering about that.

My criticism would come from mild pacing issues, as there were a few scenes were the film noticeably slowed down and his worked against the tension and scares.

Overall, a strong horror film that is probably destined to be a sleeper hit.

Pros.

Hall

The monster

The scares

The mystery

Cons.

A few slow scenes

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The Last Mercenary: Daddy’s Coming

2/5

Written by Luke Barnes

Summary

A mysterious secret agent, Jean-Claude Van Damme, must return to France after his son finds himself in some legal trouble.

I think a big part of the reason this one didn’t land for me is the humour. As I have said before humour is subjective, personally for me I didn’t find any of the jokes particularly funny, not only that but I found a few of them actively cringe. The issue with action comedies, is that often these sort of films do neither well and fail in both regards as a result of trying to incorporate the other, obviously there have been examples where it has worked but more often then not it is subpar.

I thought Van Damme was on top form here and he is clearly trying his best, sadly the film never fully uses his talents in a meaningful way. Van Damme gets all the best lines, and the film goes out of its way to make him ‘cool’. This is a good thing, but sadly one that has a knock on effect for the rest of the cast, as no one has anywhere near the presence that Van Damme has, and the rest of the actors simply end up fading into the background.

The action here is again fairly standard. You would think with a huge action star like Van Damme they would try to push the boat out a bit in what they have him doing, but this film takes it the other way and keeps things tame- much to everyone’s disappointment.

Overall, slightly below average. Watchable in a pinch.

Pros.

Van Damme is trying

It is watchable

Cons.

The action

The rest of the cast

The humour

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