My Spy: Child Actors Are The Worst

My Spy is an action comedy film directed by Peter Segal. The plot follows tough, manly CIA agent JJ (Dave Bautista), as he is sent to investigate the family of a potential nation threat. However, him and his partner get rumbled by Sophie (Chole Coleman), a young girl who runs circles around the two agents. The two then strike up at deal that basically ends in JJ becoming her new father.

Let’s get one thing straight: this is not an action movie. Other than the opening sequence there is no action in this film until the last ten minutes. To call it an action film is laughable, as SpongeBob probably has more of a right to call itself one over this film. Secondly when we do get action, the film seems to think it is better and cooler action than it actually is; what we get is boring at best.

Where this film shines is in the comedy of Dave Bautista. The man’s transition to comedy is one of the best things to happen to cinema in the last 10 years. He was very funny in this film and had a lot of great lines as did his partner Bobbi (Kristen Schaal). The little girl however was not funny. Now I am not going to say too many negative things about her performance as child actors are easy targets, but I will say she was incredibly annoying right from the off, not only that but the way she was hell bent on setting up JJ with her mum was bordering on obsessive and it was weird.

Obviously, the whole plot makes no sense, so I won’t even bother trying to explain it. I will say it is aggressively dumb though.

Overall, despite some highpoints like the comedy as well as great prop choices, this film is cringey and feels about 20 years too late. It is not an action film and despite a valiant effort from Bautista and Schaal it is not much of a comedy film either.

Pros.

Dave Bautista.

Kristen Schaal.
Cons.

The kid.

The dumbness of it all.

The weird way the kid went about setting up JJ with her mum.

2/5

Reviewed by Luke

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