The Curse Of La Llorona: Behold The Horror!

The Curse Of La Llorona is a supernatural horror film directed by Michael Chaves and is the 6th instalment in the Conjuring universe, though that fact is not marketed, for what reason you decide. The plot revolves around social worker Anna (Linda Cardellini), who after unwittingly letting a supernatural entity kill two kids, now has to face down the same entity, La Llorona (Marisol Ramirez), when her own kids become targets.

I am just going to say this once, the only reason this is a part of the Conjuring universe is because Warner Brothers know that without that title this film would flop, hard. What makes it even worse is the fact that its tie to said universe is so small and flimsy, most people won’t even recognise it. The way this film ties into the shared universe is by having the same actor who played a priest in the first Annabelle film return to his role for a blink and you will miss it cameo.

I understand that the folk tale of La Llorona is something that means a lot to people and that it was THE fear of their childhood, but that just makes this film sadder. Rather than give us a good film that explores La Llorona, the myth, the person, we have this forgettable bland excuse for a film. La Llorona could be swapped for any of the Conjuring universe baddies and the results would be the same. La Llorona in this film could easily be the nun from other entries, as they don’t bother to make her feel unique and different.

Moreover, the characters in this film are as dull and cliché filled as they can possibly be, these are characters that you have seen thousands of times before in this kind of film there is nothing to them and that makes them incredibly hard to care for. There were moments in this film when I was hoping La Llorona would kill one of them just to liven things up, but no. It is all just predictable and safe.

Don’t even get me started on the jump scares in this film, they are the most blatant and obvious ones I have ever seem in a film. Never has it been truer than in the case of this film where the creative team are putting in forced jump scares because there is no actually horror in their horror film. This is so un-scary it doesn’t deserve to be called a horror film, it could be shown in schools and even then, little kids wouldn’t find it scary, just tediously, aggressively, horrifically bad.

Pros.

The new priest guy is kind of cool.

Cons.

Oh, wait no they ruined him.

La Llorona herself is dull and repetitive.

It shows everything wrong with jump scares.

It is not in any way, in any shape or form a horror film.

0.5/5

Reviewed by Luke

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